Jolene and the other woman

Driving in my car the original version of the song “Jolene”, by Dolly Parton came on the radio. I remembered the song from my childhood and surprisingly the words too. When the song ended I downloaded it onto my iPhone and played it a few more times. Dolly’s love comes across as genuinely sweet. Her words suggest nothing other than pure desperation and vulnerability for the man she adores, but the song isn't about a woman in love. It's about a woman who doesn’t love herself enough.

"Jolene” is the tale of a woman begging another woman, the beautiful Jolene, not to steal her lover away. This, of course, is not an unfamiliar concept. Women have been fighting over men since the beginning of time. But is begging for the love of a man ever worth it?

The short answer, HELL NO! It does, however, depend on your own self-worth. Let’s say Jolene decided to carry out the request and the woman got her man back. Would she really be happy? If the woman believes she doesn’t deserve better than him, perhaps she would be somewhat happy. But if her belief is that she is worth more and deserves to receive the kind of love she gives, then that guy would be long gone.

Self-worth doesn’t always come as easy as we’d like. For many of us, remembering our value is a constant effort.  Just about every person has struggled with self-esteem at some point in life. We often doubt our abilities, our physical appearance or our contribution to society.

Here a few tips to help you build your self- worth and find your inner Jolene!

13 Tips to help build your self-worth.

1. Say stop to your inner critic. 

2. Find affirmations that work for you and repeat them daily.

3. Help others.

4. Write down 1 thing every day that you can appreciate about yourself.

 5. Forgive yourself.

6.  Don't compare yourself to others. 

7. Exercise.

8. Don't strive for perfection.

9. Don't beat yourself up when you make a mistake.

10. Focus on the things you can change.

11. Do things that you enjoy and are good at.

12. Celebrate small successes.

13. Do the right thing.

If you've never heard the song "Jolene", here is Miley Cyrus' version.